Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize