I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize
