yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
Randomize
