u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Randomize
