32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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