I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
