i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
