That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
