I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
