So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Randomize
