I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
Randomize
