super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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