RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
