Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
