they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
