Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
P.S. I can't hear my feet
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
