O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
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