if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
