I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Randomize
