is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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