You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
We left the knife in your bed.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
