Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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