Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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