I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
