i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
I look excited, but its just a facade.
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