you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
