You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Randomize
