the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Randomize
