Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
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