READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
