just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
Holy sore nipples Batman
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Randomize
