I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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