i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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