hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
Randomize
