dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Randomize
