In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Randomize
