Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
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