the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Randomize
