my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
