i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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