it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Randomize
