Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Randomize
