There is no way he is gay with that hair.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Randomize
