So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
I deserve this hangover.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize