Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
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