Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize