The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I would ride that face into the sunset
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
