I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
