ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
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