What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Randomize
