id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
