I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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