Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
