I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
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