Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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