I'm sorry my penis didn't work
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
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