Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
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