i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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