Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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