Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Sext me about skeletons
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Randomize
