I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
