So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
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