I wish i was in the wii world.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
