I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
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