dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize