i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
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