I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
i used baking grease as lip gloss
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Randomize
