I hate your face
I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Randomize
