how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
