You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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